Canceling plans excuse generator (oc)



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  1. With all due respect to those who have been directly or indirectly affected by the sickness considerably worse than I, I am already missing:

    “I can’t because of covid,” says the narrator.

  2. My ex-boyfriend gave me syphillis… Damn, I’m already a big fan of this generator.

    Edit: I’m sorry, but my nephew gave me syphillis, which has swiftly escalated into a contentious situation.

  3. Dan Rather is going to be a big part of my next fambly bailout. I’m not sure which part he’ll play, but he’ll have to go to bat for me in some way.

  4. “I can’t go since the Pope just spit the bed,” says the narrator.

    “What do you mean? But aren’t you an atheist?”

    *-click-*

  5. Get this: my nudes were shared on the internet by an entire professional rugby squad. Yeah, I’m just going to skip work today.

  6. “Get this,” I say, “a high school marching band won’t stop telling me knock knock jokes.”

    “Huh?” says my boss. “Are you inebriated?”

  7. To get a better effect, use several at once:

    This is going to sound insane, but the ghost of Adolf Hitler stabbed me and then died in front of me, giving me syphilis.

  8. My roommate once called to cancel her plans to attend a potluck gathering after preparing the food and putting on her jacket. She had 30 seconds before she was to step out the door.

  9. I’ve prepared a list of justifications…

    1. I became ill with diarrhoea.
    2. I was adamant about not doing it.

    Excuse number two goes to my closest friends.

  10. We’re seeing posts about individuals bailing out on plans and finding methods to get out of them, which indicates that things are returning to normal.

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