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  1. When kids asked why we had to demonstrate our work on math problems in elementary school, the teacher would say, “Well, you won’t always have a calculator on you.” I do have my phone with me. And the majority of people do as well. It’s seldom more than a few feet away from my face. I keep a calculator with me at all times.

  2. I still recommend using an alarm clock for the morning alarm, which you keep on the opposite side of the room so you have to get up and turn it off.

  3. I’m not sure why people are nostalgic for cassette tapes. Those scumbags are a pain to deal with. I remember turning the tape around to “side 2” and it wouldn’t go in, so you had to fucking SLAM it in, and the tape wire would sometimes get all spaghetti on you and get all twisted up. GET OUT OF HERE WITH THEM. I recall this. I recall how ANNOYING they were. Fuck it. Tapes, to be precise.

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