Mother’s Day vs Father’s Day





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54 Comments

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  1. My wife is taking me out to breakfast and then to get my feet done. Leaving the kids at home is not a good idea. Kings, take care of yourselves.

  2. This morning, my wife let me sleep in until 9 a.m. I already have everything I could want because my Monday-Friday schedule requires waking up at 4:45 a.m. My two-year-old regularly wakes both of us up at 6 a.m. Yall have a wonderful Father’s Day!

  3. I hope so. My son woke us up at 530 a.m. and is having a phase when he can’t be separated from me if I’m in the same house, so there will be no peace and quiet for me.

  4. My fiancée just took my three-year-old daughter out for errands and a walk, leaving me alone at home with my videogames. I get to spend the entire day being a slacker. I couldn’t have asked for a nicer present.

    Edit: I’m relieved to learn that I’m not the only father who appreciates some alone time and doing nothing productive. To all the other fathers out there, I wish you a happy Father’s Day.

  5. I was asked whether I wanted to go to a Father’s Day breakfast by my girlfriend. When I asked if we needed to take all of the kids, she just stared at me…

  6. I have three sons, all in their mid-to-late twenties. I received two texts from HFD apologizing for not being able to come over. It’s fine; I’ll pop open a few beers and watch the US Open.

    Father’s Day greetings, especially to new fathers.

  7. Every Father’s Day since my son was born, my father texts me, “Happy Father’s Day, son!” And I respond, “Happy Father’s Day, Dad!” It makes me happy every time I see it. It’s a simple and brief piece, but I like it.

  8. “Let’s catch up, how’d everything go?” my mum says to me while I’m in my early 30s. “OK, old man, what heavy thing am I hauling for you today?” says Father’s Day.

  9. Today, the wife is at work. I got up and cooked breakfast for myself and the baby. I cleaned the kitchen, began the wash, and am now getting ready to mow the lawn. I don’t need any awards or prizes; all I need is my child’s love. To all the fathers out there, I wish you a happy Father’s Day.

  10. With a financially dependent spouse, the man raised two children, lived in a house with a car, and went on adventures…all on the salary of a retail shoe salesperson. This was an intriguing plot.

  11. Last year, my wife didn’t get me anything for Father’s Day. There wasn’t even a card. Then she was taken aback when I didn’t get her anything for Christmas this year. Needless to say, hekids have given me three gifts this year.

  12. It’s so true, dude. We went to the store to acquire crabs, expecting it to be crowded or sold out, but it was completely empty. It was truly a low-key vacation. Those poor fellas

  13. Father needs to take all the kids on Mother’s Day so mom can enjoy a day off.

    Father’s Day: Dad needs to spend time with all of his children.

  14. Father’s Day is the one day of the year when I get to do whatever I want. I’m going climbing with some pals, and then we might have a barbecue afterwards. I do, however, spend the day alone. Every day, I spend time with my wife and child. Father’s Day is a day when I spend all of my time with myself.

  15. I mean, if I were a father, I wouldn’t want a bunch of cards and flowers and regular reminders from strangers. I’d only need my daily necessities and to be left alone.

  16. Thank you, thank you, thank you for reminding me that today is Father’s Day. I was on the verge of dropping the ball on this one.

  17. Every time I go to the supermarket, the father’s day department makes me laugh. As an example, two sides of that box near the register where the batteries are generally kept.

  18. от от от от от от от от от от от от от от от от от от от раве л тако радник ране? Kurwa, kurwa, kurwa, kurwa,

  19. I’m the family cook, so I decided to treat myself to McDonald’s for breakfast, which brought back memories of going to McDonald’s with my grandfather…

  20. Personally, I couldn’t care less; my daughter drew a wonderful picture for me, and I cut a watermelon. All of the attention I truly desire has been provided, and no picture on Google Frontpage can persuade me otherwise.

  21. That appears to be the case. I asked my hubby what he wanted to do today/where he wanted to go this morning. “All I want to do is drink beer and watch television.”

  22. I’ll take a leisurely day any day, but I really wish I could get some of that special attention.

    My children had forgotten it was Father’s Day, but not Mother’s Day. Her day consisted of pampering, but my day consists of making all of the meals and watching a children’s movie. At the very least, there aren’t any extra responsibilities today.

  23. I have four biological children and two foster children. This year, I’m completely spent. Normally, I plan a family activity for us to do together, but this year? I’m not sure. Maybe I’ll just take a leisurely drive.

  24. My wife treated me to dinner and then left me at home to play video games, exercise, or do anything I wanted. She took the kids out and returned with nerf guns for a family nerf war. She’s a diamond in the rough.

  25. True story: my daughter gave me a camping camp pillow for my birthday. She informed me she spotted me eyeballing it at REI when we were buying her backpacking gear and I told her it was exactly the one I wanted. She was aware that I had returned it due to the high expense of her equipment.

    In a few weeks, we’ll be away for a long weekend. Before she leaves for college, she takes one more excursion.

  26. This is my first Father’s Day.

    I really wanted to spend the day gaming and doing as little as possible; I love my family more than life itself, but all I want to do is play PS5 in my underpants.

    My wife delivered, and she’s a nice lady.

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