My wife leaves me notes in the morning. I hope this one’s not finished.



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40 Comments

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  1. I was texting my dad “I just came to grab some stuff on my way to work” when I accidentally hit Send on an unfinished text as I was pulling up, so all he got was “I just came” – he said “Uh that’s cool”

  2. Double down and pull a joke, in my opinion. Put your most important belongings in a bag, throw it in the car, write “I’m so sorry” on the card, and go to the bar or the movies before she calls.

  3. I once took a peek at the stacks of books on my wife’s side of the room. “How to deal with a narcissist” was the title of one of them.

    It’s just her and me in this space. I am not a narcissist by any stretch of the imagination.

    However, it piqued my interest…

  4. I once forgot to write “I love you” on a sticky note to leave on my boyfriend’s desk. Instead of “I you,” I wrote “I you.” I have a bad habit of skipping sentences.

  5. UPDATE: The rest of it was “…the Amazon stuff, I think there’s more to go back to.”

    Fam, my wife is fantastic. I was unconcerned.

  6. “Please get out of here…

    -and never return”

    -remove the toilet seat”

    -Give me the gun, and I’ll give you the cannoli”

    -leave all your worries at the door”

  7. I sent a card to my nephew and completely forgot to write on the inside! However, I did remember to stamp it, so there’s that.

  8. “I’m looking for a div-

    Nestle has taken a -estment of our portfolio holdings. They’re a bunch of jerks.

    Even, I’ve had it with you and can’t bear you anymore-

    -r stinky socks are no longer an option. They’re going to be washed!

    In addition, I’m having an affair.”

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